Sunday, 5 August 2012

The PH files

Inspired by Ana, I thought I’d write a little bit about myself. It occurs that I’m probably a blank page to a lot of you, so here are some things that might help form a picture. (The stuff that follows won’t be as deep or intelligent as the things Ana writes, but I hope it’s still of interest).

I’m twenty-four and (nearly) a half, born and raised in England (various parts of it), I can speak one language, I’m right-handed, brunette (though I sometimes go blonde), and I like cheesecake. I like other stuff too; it’s just that cheesecake was the first thing to pop into my head. The first time I tried cheesecake I thought it was the best thing EVER.

I studied English at university (that’s where I met BH)... I can drive but I don’t own a car (sold it in May)... when I was really little I thought 100 was the biggest number possible... I have a canvas print of the Casablanca movie poster on the wall above my Naughty Little Writing Desk.

Some of the music I’ve listened to today: Freezepop, Sprite; Noisettes, Don’t Give Up; Ash, Lose Control; Michael Jackson, Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough; Sleigh Bells, Riot Rhythm (ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah... :D); Daft Punk, Crescendolls. Some very brat-friendly music there; perfect for jumping on your bed to.

I have been scrumping as a child. Haven’t climbed a tree in years, now I come to think of it.

There are two boxes of Frosties and three of Rice Krispies on top of our fridge. BH is the predominant cereal eater; I usually have toast for breakfast with Marmite on one piece. The fridge itself is a hand-me-down, as is our TV and most of our furniture. Definitely an ‘eclectic’ effect in our house.

I can never seem to boil an egg just right. It’s always too hard or too runny. (Food on the brain! Sorry).

I’ve always enjoyed the feeling of a smacked bottom, right back to my earliest memories. My Dad caught me spanking myself once. He didn’t say a word about it. I learned years later that he was a spanko too.

The keyboard I’m typing this on is black, as is my mouse and computer. It’s like the Death Star here. Except for the (hand-me-down) monitor, which is that classic computery light beige colour. Kind of spoils the effect. The ‘A’ key on my keyboard is just about worn clean, for some reason.

My first job was as a cleaner at a supermarket. I was the youngest one there by about thirty years. I learned that delicatessens are very messy behind the counter. I think they must have food fights when no-one’s looking.

My favourite films are comedies.

I didn’t try very hard at school for a few years as I was chronically depressed and full of guilt over a stroke my Mum had. I once wrote an assignment in the ten minutes before the lesson it was due in (and got an ‘A’). But then I also stopped running halfway along the hundred metres in PE because I thought I was so loathsome and ridiculous I couldn’t bear it.

The first thing I say upon waking up on the first day of a new month is ‘white rabbits’, because it’s good luck.

I have an elder brother, a younger sister and a younger brother. I know I’m biased but they’re all really nice people.

The last item of clothing I bought was a navy blue pleated miniskirt from the ‘teen’ range.

Okay. That’s enough stream-of-consciousness rambling for now! I hope that I’ve given you a better idea of the girl behind this silly blog.


  1. Humiliated Geek5 August 2012 at 13:30

    To boil an egg correctly:

    Take the egg and put it in a saucer in room-temp water. Set burner to highest setting. When the water is at a rolling boil, turn off the burner and remove the saucer from the heat. Let the saucer sit for 12 minutes.

    Drain the saucer and peel the egg. the egg will be perfectly cooked. It's probably more efficient to do a dozen eggs at a time if you like hard boiled eggs.

    Note: these instructions may or may not have been modified to ensure failure and get you in trouble when cooking BH breakfast.

  2. Thank you, such a good idea.governing Ana along with Hermione, and your good self were so kind to leave comments on my page. Mrs Harry found email notifications on my gmail account on my phone, and assumed I am in a dating circle, it's taken a fair few days to explain about it. Why a false name, you won't send any more emails to people?why do you have to comment? Ronnie Souls profile says happily married why does yours say married? My poor beauty who does resemble your PH reply photo! I took down my pages there is a home because OH was is such a state on Facebook I thought she was going to try and finish our marriage by telling all her family.I think ok now, talk of bringing back maintenance, moving cane to bedroom etc. I do love our relationship with spanking in it it is a tonic to trust, it's because I stopped talking about it, on a subtle basis and started blogging that brought this on!
    I did find that without my top I really started to enjoy thinking about being one. Anyway thank you there's the inside on my wonderful life. For now Harry B.

  3. Two thoughts. How did you find out that your Dad was a spanko and how did it make you feel? And, scrumping is very definitely a spanking offence.

  4. Always appreciate more insight into you and your world, Penny.

    Kudos on that Casablanca poster - maybe my all time favorite movie. Bogiy is the gratest, and Ingrid Bergman makes me weak in the knees.
    "i'm shocked - shocked! - to find gambling going on here!"
    "Excuse me - your winnings, monsieur."
    "Thank you very much."

    I can't boil and egg, either, but then, why would you? Much better scrambled, with HP sauce.

    oh, yes, and as to OFG's question, ditto...?

  5. ahem - sorry, 'Bogey', not 'Bogly'

  6. Thanks for the comments, everyone! And I will try your boiled egg instructions, HG. I'm a trusting soul :)

    I found out that my Dad was into spanking when I found a bunch of magazines in one of his desk drawers. (Bad Penny for going in there in the first place, I know). How did I feel? I certainly didn't feel anything bad or icky. I felt... fine, like it was a perfectly natural thing for him to be into. And I felt something nice, a sort of reassurance I guess, that it wasn't just me that liked that stuff. It was heartwarming that we had something so sweet (yet semi-forbidden) in common. But it was a bittersweet kind of happiness, because I knew what it felt like to have to keep a cherished part of yourself more-or-less secret from the world.

    We never talked about spanking ever. I wish we had. But I kept his secret because I didn't want him to feel awkward or embarrassed by me saying I had discovered it.

    And Bogiy/Bogey's the gratest, is he RR? I think you need to see me after the next class... ;)

  7. I feel like I should be lying on a couch, btw!

    But then I'd probably start thinking about other things the shrink and I could be doing on it, so maybe not.

  8. And I'm still owed a spanking for scrumping, OFG - I got clean away with it at the time.

    I hope overdue spankings aren't subject to interest.

  9. Thank you Penelope for sharing so much with us.

  10. That's all right, joey! Thanks for reading.

  11. Penny, thank you for sharing, you're a brave girl, but a lot of your personality does come through in your writing, dear.

  12. The PH files. :D This was a real treat to read. I want to congratulate BH for finding a real treasure at university. I hope you'll get the urge to post more of this sort of rambling.

  13. Thanks Aunty Andrea and TFD :) I'm always nervous when I put stuff up and I wasn't sure if this post would suck or not. I'm very glad you liked it. It probably sounds silly but I feel like I'm part of a big, loving family, and that makes blogging much less scary.

    Careful what you wish for, though, TFD - I could ramble endlessly. On that subject... I had Rice Krispies for brekkie this morning cos I was in a bit of a hurry and cereal takes less time than toast. I was very pleased to see that the front of the box is like a colouring-in book, with Snap, Crackle and Pop all waiting to be coloured in, and a little banner that says "Coloured by _____". I think I might have to get my felt tips out and do it.

    And going back to dear RR and his scrambled eggs... I'm glad to hear from a fellow brown sauce fan! Though I personally prefer Daddies sauce (lol) to HP. HP is a bit too tangy for me. And I love piccalilli! BH hates it, though. (And Marmite, the weirdo).

    And apologies for not replying to your message sooner, Harry: thanks for posting it. I'm sorry to hear that blogging got you into trouble, and while I'm sad your blog is gone I'm happy that things are looking okay again. Platonic love and hugs to you!

  14. Oh, and I wanna boil eggs right cos then I can have toast soldiers with them! Buttered toast dipped in perfectly boiled egg is the best thing in the world. My Mum always did them just right. I think there's a Mum University someplace where this stuff is taught.

    And when did they stop putting little plastic toys in cereal boxes?

    I think my next post will be about the books I've recently read. That's been on my to-do list for ages. A wonderful book called watching words move is sitting on top of my computer tower looking at me accusingly. But then it is bright yellow so it's hard to miss. Hmm. My writing area is a mess.

  15. LOL...yes, to a child 100 is a very, very big number. Remember when you counted 1 to 19 and then had to start making things up? Eighteen, nineteen, ten-teen, eleven-teen...

    And next time I will make sure I have eaten my meal before coming to your blog. I was hungry already, and now you talk of eggs and brekkie and...*stomach growls*

    I remember when I was a child and I was SO proud of being 13 and 1/2. Then 13 and 3/4. Remember when we loved getting older? :D

    I do like, as I told joey, the vanilla posts. :) Sometimes even a spanko can have too much spanking. :P

  16. Hehe, sorry! I'll try to keep the food talk to a minimum. I guess it's my unconscious go-to vanilla subject.

    And sorry for the fandom but I'm so happy that you've read my little post, Ana. You inspired me to write it, by showing me that it's okay to write about the details of everyday life. I'll try to write more vanilla stuff now and then (between the spanking fiction and kinky schoolgirl imaginings).

    Re ten-teen: my Dad was an accountant, so numbers were always kind of around me as a kid. I remember thinking, aged about 7, that the day I knew what 'TAX' meant I would be all grown up.

    I know what it means now, sniff :(

  17. LOL!! If only none of us knew what tax meant! I never was and never will be good at numbers. I count on my fingers and still get mixed up. And I do usually make the blogging rounds, although that will have to change somewhat once school starts again. Wouldn't want a teacher to get any kinky ideas, eh? ;)

    And well..I write about food, too. It's nearly a universal thing, I think.