Win!

I know you’re all still recovering from the excitement of the blog hop, but I have another Terribly Exciting Thing for you: a contest/giveaway. No! you cry. Yes! I squeak. Yes! YES!

Sorry. Came over all wanton sexual abandon there.

But, um, yes. For the sum of zero dollars you can win your very own copy of Spank! 2, in the format of your choice, digitally signed by Penelope “no E” Hasler herself! (It was that or a pair of my school knickers, but I’ve been told I can’t send those to people). Of course, some of you might have already rushed out and purchased said book (thank you if that’s you!): should either of you such a lovely and discerning person win my little contest an alternative prize of similar value will be offered. (Like maybe a piece of nearly-new chewing gum).

The Merchandise
Here’s the object of desire you stand to win... a lovingly crafted collection of spanking stories with one of my close personal friends pouting from the cover and hinting at the saucy treats within:

Fed up of seeing this yet?

There are four stories by meee in this mighty volume, all of which are high in spanking goodness and vitamin C. Here’s an extract from one of them, a sordid little tale of a naughty domestic getting what she deserves...

The Earl smoothed his hand over the hot, tender skin that he had, only moments before, been beating. It was a lovely bottom, he thought. Ripe as a peach, feminine and, yes, insolent. It was an insolent bottom. And it deserved to be spanked. He gave the right cheek a squeeze, eliciting a little moan from the girl at his ankle. Nicely firm… just perfect. He would have to spank this bottom a great deal more in the future, he thought. The object of his ruminations lay panting, moaning, hoping that her ordeal might have been at an end, but not daring to venture such a thought out loud. She wished so very much to be able to rub her sore backside better, but she dared not move a muscle lest she displease her master still further. Her heart, beating furiously, skipped a beat when the Earl spoke. “Now, my girl,” he said, “it is time for you to receive your proper due.”

Poor Mary, so sad. Still, on the plus side it’s fun for us to watch :)

The Contest
Now, listen carefully because this is complicated and serious. In the extract above we learned that Mary had an ‘insolent’ bottom. In twenty words or fewer, tell me what colour socks her master was wearing and why he chose them that day rather than his usual black.

Kidding :P

To enter, simply leave a comment on this post: there isn’t a question so just write anything you like. Tell me about the weather where you are. Tell me about the last time you went trampolining. Tell me that you think I’m great and sexy and clever and funny and that you wouldn’t kick me out of bed even if I did eat biscuits and get crumbs on your side. Just write ‘X’. No blog hopping required. The editor’s decision is final, no responsibility will be taken for injury or death suffered by participants, and comments with rude words and/or sexually explicit stuff in them will be disqualified*. This contest is completely unaffiliated with the ‘Love Spanks’ blog hop, in case you were wondering: no chance of winning a Nook here!

The closing date is Friday 15 February, 10pm UK time. The instant that the ornate grandfather clock in the hallway of Hasler Manor finishes chiming I will select an entrant at random and bish, bash, bosh (as my brother would say): that lucky duck will WIN! (And as I generally get an average of 5-10 comments per post I think your odds are pretty good).

*Kidding again, of course. Swearing is an art form (I myself cuss like a sailor in real life), and I like it when people tell me they want to beat me, strip me, thrust my legs apart and defile me with a very large, very firm cucumber til my socks come off.