Saturday 7 January 2012

Kinky thinks


Just in case you haven't spotted it, I’ve added a link to a lovely spanking blog called Bright Bottom. Its owner, Spanky, has very thought-provoking (and hot) things to say about all things BDSM, so consider it recommended!

An article of Spanky's got me thinking about my own kink today, actually. Well, thinking about it a little more than usual, anyway...

Personally, I find that I need a bit of overt roleplay in my kinky sex. It doesn’t have to be a lot – an outfit maybe, or a phrase or two, or a certain atmosphere – just some small signal that my lover and I have temporarily left our everyday lives and entered a debauched world of fantasy, free of the usual constraints and worries. (And full of quite different sorts of constraints and worries!) Of course, all kinky sex is a type of roleplay, even if the participants don’t dress up in leather and do naughty things in a dungeon (or, in other words, even if it takes place in the context of the everyday). I guess I'm just saying it works best for me when that little overt signal is given.

As I’m sure many of you can appreciate, indulging in any kind of sexual roleplay is a strange sensation; a kind of temporary double existence. To use my better half and I as an example, during our play I really am that naughty maid and he really is my master, and I know that my master can do whatever he likes with me. Yet at the same time we are still very much ourselves, and I know that he would never do anything to hurt me. It’s as if the sensible, grown-up me takes a back seat for a while and watches as the wild, lustful me comes to the surface and has some fun.

It’s a form of escapism, of course, but then so is sex itself: the expression la petite mort (‘the little death’) aptly describes the almost out-of-body feeling of transcendence that comes with orgasm. My kink, and no doubt many other people's, is largely driven by a longing for that exact same liberating feeling. Playing dress-up, going over my partner’s knee, being tied to the bed, becoming a helpless and available slut – in other words, creating a private world of sexual fantasy – is simply an attempt to harness that feeling, to extend it, to let it spill outward beyond the moment of orgasmic pleasure.

And what could be more natural than the pursuit of pleasure?

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the mention! You are too kind.

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  2. Not at all, Mr Spanky. And if I could put an apple on your desk, I would x

    ReplyDelete