Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Ana nother thing (sorry..!)

A lovely surprise on returning home was a comment from a new visitor, Ana. It’s always a pleasure to discover new blogs and new writing, and Ana’s blog, governingana, is one of the most interesting I have ever come across.

Quieter and more contemplative than my own brash, pink, cartoon domain, Ana’s writing has a quiet, sophisticated grace and is quite captivating. A visit is unreservedly recommended. (And wow, is she prolific! I’ve never felt like such a slouch).

Ana’s writing is the kind of thing that I myself would like to write every so often: less performative, more reflective and personal. I guess I tend to assume that people wouldn’t be interested in my innermost thoughts and feelings, or that it’s somehow self-indulgent to write them down. Ana reminds me that this doesn’t have to be the case. Thank you, Ana!

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Brat abroad

Back! Sunned and rested and ready for action. I hope you’ve all had a nice week :)

In case you were wondering, the hot and sunny place BH and I went to was Kos, a Greek island in the Aegean Sea (and birthplace of Hippocrates, no less). Beautiful and friendly, peaceful and quiet, with temperatures in the thirties all week and nary a cloud in the sky. Just what a pair of rain-weary Brits needed!

So there was sun and sea... was there sex and spanking? Reader, there was, though not all four simultaneously (I’m not a fan of sand in intimate places, for one thing. And we are English!) We did have some splashy horseplay in the sea on one occasion, which provided the pretext for a private spanking back in our hotel room later on. (Well, private-ish: our room was as close to the reception desk as could be, so in all likelihood guests coming and going were treated to the slaps, smacks and squeals emanating from our bedroom). And of course, once I had been shown the consequences of my naughtiness I was given a jolly good seeing-to, my moans of pleasure muffled by the school tie I was gagged with. Outrageous!

It may have been because we were in a carefree state of mind as we were on holiday, I’m not sure, but we were definitely more kinky in our everyday behaviour than usual. The general theme – that just naturally occurred without us having to discuss it – was one of bratty girl and strict guardian, with all the opportunities for yummy submissiveness and ageplay that provided. It was like a lovely unspoken undercurrent to our grown-up holiday fun: misbehave and you will be punished, young lady.

On most of our excursions I was led by the hand, shielded and held and cuddled, a possessive BH arm wrapped round me or a hand placed upon my rear, and I was encouraged on my way (and reminded of my place) every now and again with a smart smack. Ooh! :D

And I may have been spanked OTK in private but the results were invariably shown off in public: after my spanking for splashing, for example, I was made to wear a pair of very short shorts when we went out again, so there was a tell-tale pinkness to my exposed curves and the backs of my thighs that I couldn’t conceal. Very embarrassing! (And very arousing). And the innocent pleasure of lazing beside the hotel pool was preceded one morning by anxious squirming in front of the mirror, checking my bikinied bottom for signs of redness, as I had been given a short, sharp spanking for cheekiness at the breakfast table. What a naughty girl... but then we’ve all been there, right?

Shopping was great fun, of course. And that too was infused with kink: BH held all the money, and so I had to ask him to buy things for me, or ask him to give me spending money. (Oh, I liked that!) I lost count of the number of times I asked “Please, BH, can I have this?”

Holding a cute t-shirt up to show him, I asked just that.

“Don’t you think you have enough t-shirts already?” he said.

I did not. And, summoning all my intellectual and argumentation skills, I pouted “But I wannit!” in my best bratty voice, and frowned at him like a disappointed six-year-old.

BH can be wonderfully dominant when he wants to be, in a cool, calm, almost parental way. Faced with my Veruca Salt impression, he took the t-shirt, hung it back on the rail, took me by the wrist without a word and marched me, discreetly but firmly, out of the shop. Once outside, I was treated to a no-nonsense, stand-up, finger-wagging scolding. He did it in such a way, standing so close and speaking so softly, that electricity crackled between us, yet the people going by in the street paid us no heed. It was so intense and personal. “You’re going the right way for a spanking, Penny. Carry on like that and I’ll turn you over my knee right here and let all these people see what a brat you are. You know I mean it.”

Oh, how I squirmed! Pouting and looking up at BH in timid appeal, rubbing my thighs together as if I was desperate to wee, I felt just exactly twenty-four going on seven, a naughty adult reduced to the status of a child, a feeling I love. My pathetic little whimper at the prospect of a public spanking in a bustling shopping street would have melted a statue’s heart.

“Now, are you going to behave yourself?” he asked, in all seriousness.

“Yes, Daddy,” I squeaked, snuggling into his chest.

BH teased me a little later by carefully examining the range of thick leather belts in another shop. “Mm… this one looks like it would pack a wallop... I wonder if I could give it a test run…”


I didn’t get the belt (or the t-shirt), but I did get a spanking back at the hotel for accumulated bratting. A spanking that, Strict Uncles everywhere will be pleased to hear, involved a good, long dose of the hairbrush midway through. A very sorry Penny with a very sore bottom, I sat down ever so carefully in the restaurant we ate at that evening. Luckily, I was allowed to wear a dress so my disgrace was kept hidden.

Sunbathing, sightseeing, shopping, sex, spanking, (s)alcohol… just a lovely week in a lovely place. I am a big fan of Kos. The only things I didn’t like were the big, scary bugs, meep.

Want to look at some holiday snaps? Course you do! :D

The beautiful blue Aegean Sea (that’s Turkey in the distance, and I think possibly TFD waterskiing):

Some boats in the harbour (there was a big navy boat there all week and a man with a big gun guarding the approach to it. I wanted to go up to him for a picture but I was too chicken):

The ancient Roman Odeon (excellent place for a public spanking):

The beautiful market and Kos town square (another place it would be lovely frightful to be spanked):

A Greek kitty cat (there were loads of these everywhere. Did you know that ‘meow’ in Greek is ‘niaou’?):

The hotel pool as seen from our balcony (there’s more pool than that but you can’t see it):

A house I would like to buy if I had the money:

We could have taken pictures of everything, it was all so pretty.

P.S. A friend tells me it’s been hot and sunny back home all week. What did we come back to? Clouds and rain!

Friday, 20 July 2012

Sun, sea, sex and spanking

No time for a proper post as I’m packing for my holiday! BH and I are jetting off tomorrow to a hot and sunny destination* where we will luxuriate for a week. Bliss! So no naughty scribblings for a bit (aww). But also no moaning about the rubbish British weather (yay)!

Be nice and naughty while I’m away and do read all you can. (But not Fifty Shades, obviously). And Miss Hasler’s pupils should swot up on their grammar, as her English classes will carry on through the summer. No end of year break for you little rascals!

Back soon. Love, Penny xxx

*It had better be hot and sunny, anyway. If it’s raining when we get there I will throw a fit on the airport tarmac.

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Pennyland weather report

Hi! I’m Stacy Nice-Racke with the weather for Pennyland. After a dry weekend with patches of blue sky visible and temperatures reaching a scorching 16˚C (61˚F), things will return to their normal cloudy, soggy greyness today.

Here’s the scene above Penny’s house at midday today:

Lots of nice grey cloud there, promising rain. (These are live pictures, by the way, not a spot the difference competition!) Not much wind: notice the iconic telephone cables are still up. So your brolly won’t get blown inside-out, don’t worry!

Average temperatures of 13˚C (55˚F) will have Pennys running to their wardrobes once more for shorts and crop tops. Make the most of that summer heat, girls!

The outlook for the rest of the week looks set to be the same, as does the rest of July. Then it’ll be autumn, so we can look forward to extra cloud, sideways rain, and lovely freezing temperatures.

Now over to Brad with the sport. Brad? Brad! I’m not that sort of weather girl!

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Miss Hasler's English Class: 3

Eyes on the board, please. In today’s lesson we are going to look at two little words that are often misused: its and it’s. Mixing these two up is a common mistake, but it’s one that I am going to ensure you never make again. Here are two examples of incorrect usage:

Spain is famous for it’s sunshine.
I don’t mind pizza, but its not my favourite.

Wrong, wrong, wrong! Any pupil handing work in with these errors would get lines. But why are they errors? Because they use its and it’s the wrong way round.

Let’s start at the start by examining it’s.

It’s is a contraction – that is, a shortened version – of ‘it is’ or ‘it has’, just as that’s = ‘that is’ and let’s = ‘let us’.

Shortening ‘it is’ or ‘it has’ is always what it’s is used for; it has no other use.

As with other contractions, we use an apostrophe to stand in for the letter(s) we take out. So when we take the second ‘i’ out of ‘it is’ we put an apostrophe in its place and push the two words together. It is becomes it’s.

It is a sunny day.
It’s a sunny day.

And, going back to our example above:

I don’t mind pizza, but it is not my favourite.
I don’t mind pizza, but it’s not my favourite.

The more observant of you will have noticed that this example contains another contraction that works in just the same way as it’s:

I don’t mind pizza = I do not mind pizza. We take the ‘o’ out of ‘not’, replace it with an apostrophe, and push the two words together.

I do not mind pizza.
I don’t mind pizza.

See? Easy!

Now, pay close attention – that includes you, Harry – because I am going to talk about its, which is a trickier thing to understand than it’s.

Its serves a different function to it’s: it is a possessive determiner.

I see a hand up. Yes, Dana? What is a possessive determiner? It’s a part of speech that modifies a noun (specifically, a personal pronoun) by attributing possession.

Now... yes, Dana? What is a personal pronoun? It’s a special kind of naming word. Examples are me or you or him or her. We all know that nouns are naming words, don’t we? Table and penguin and France are nouns. So are Penny and car and lollipop. Well, personal pronouns are just a special little group of nouns that can be used to stand in for the names of people or things, basically to avoid repetition.

Here’s an example sentence that uses a personal pronoun:

John is my friend. I like him.

In this sentence, him is the personal pronoun, and it stands in for John. The sentence could be written as “John is my friend. I like John,” but we use him instead of repeating John to make the sentence sound less repetitive.

The other personal pronouns are I, you, me, her, it, he, she, us, they and them. So instead of writing “I went to Disneyland. I liked Disneyland,” you could write “I went to Disneyland. I liked it.” Or, instead of writing “Mary likes cheesecake. Mary ate some just yesterday,” you could write “Mary likes cheesecake. She ate some just yesterday.”

Do you all see how that works? Personal pronouns stand in for nouns. John/him, Disneyland/it, Mary/she, noun/personal pronoun. I bet you use them all the time!

Now that we know what a personal pronoun is, we can tackle possessive determiners. If you remember, we said that these words attribute possession. That is to say, they tell us that something belongs to someone or something. And we use them when we need to do that with a personal pronoun. Each personal pronoun (e.g. he, she, you, it) has a possessive determiner that corresponds to it. Let’s look at some examples.

You have a car. You is a personal pronoun.
Your car is nice. Your is the possessive determiner that corresponds to you.
He put me over his knee! This sentence contains both a personal pronoun (he) and the corresponding possessive determiner (his).

You/your, he/his, she/her, we/our. See? Not really hard at all. Personal pronoun, corresponding possessive determiner.

Now we’re ready to deal with that pesky its.

Its is simply the corresponding possessive determiner to it, just like your is to you, his is to he and her is to she.

Your eyes, his voice, her dress, its coastline.

Not “it’s coastline,” because we’re not saying “it is coastline” or “it has coastline.” We’re attributing possession of the coastline to the personal pronoun it.

An example sentence: “Norway is hard to draw in crayon. Its coastline is very jaggedy.” This sentence works exactly the same as “Rachel came back from the salon. Her hair looked amazing.”

Norway - it - its
Rachel - she - her
Noun - personal pronoun - possessive determiner

There. Not so tricky really, is it?

I think some of the confusion regarding possession and apostrophes comes from the fact that, when we attribute possession to a plain old noun (as opposed to a personal pronoun), we do use an apostrophe:

The car has a sunroof = the car’s sunroof.
Crystal has a cat = Crystal’s cat.

So why don’t we add an apostrophe to possessive determiners when we want to signify possession? We add them to nouns, after all. Because, unlike nouns, possessive determiners (his, her, its) already have possession built into them. They have it built in because signifying possession is their one and only function:

Crystal’s cat (apostrophe)
Her cat (no apostrophe)

The car’s sunroof (apostrophe)
Its sunroof (no apostrophe)

Daniel’s bottom (apostrophe)
His bottom (no apostrophe)

See? Good. Now, there is just one more thing. Julie, don’t bang your head on the desk, dear. The final things to mention are possessive pronouns. These are the words yours, mine, his (again), hers and ours. Just like possessive determiners, these words don’t need apostrophes as they already have the concept of possession built in:

That hat is Andrea’s (apostrophe)
That hat is hers (no apostrophe)

We don’t need to worry about the distinction between possessive determiners and possessive pronouns. Life is too short for that. And I know that I’ve used a lot of terminology today, but it isn’t essential to remember all those things. Just remember that:

It’s is a contraction of it is or it has. That’s why it always has an apostrophe, to stand in for the letter(s) we have taken out.

Possessive determiners (words like his, her, its) and possessive pronouns (words like hers, ours, yours) never have apostrophes in them, because they don’t need them. You wouldn’t write “hi’s” when you meant “his,” would you? So don’t write “it’s” when you mean “its!”

Write a paragraph about a girl who goes to the park. Try to use it’s and its, as well as other contractions (like don’t), personal pronouns (like she) and possessive determiners (like his).

P.S. The gorgeous picture above is taken from the ever-sexy School Mistress Fantasy.

Saturday, 14 July 2012

Spelling it out

A whole week without a post! I hope the Pennilessness has been bearable.

I know you are all anxiously waiting for the next English lesson (such eager children!) but don’t worry, it will be along soon. In the meantime here are the results of the spelling test, pinned up on my classroom noticeboard for all to see:

A gold star for Dana and Andrea!

Oh, and here’s an amusing little poster that might capture how a few of my young learners are feeling...

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Miss Hasler's English Class: 2

All right, settle down everyone. Stop doing that with your pencil, Imreadonly2! Yes, I suppose it is quite impressive, but I want you to concentrate on the board. Good boy. Now, today’s lesson is on everyone’s favourite topic: spelling.

Good spelling is very important. English has thousands and thousands of words, but it only has twenty-six letters to make all those words out of. This means that a lot of words that mean very different things can be spelt similarly. And, just to make things trickier, some words sound alike but are spelt differently! This is why doing your best to spell things correctly is important: it helps make sure that you are understood correctly.

But being a good speller isn’t always easy. English is inconsistent in a lot of ways: this means that there are exceptions to most of the rules within it. Spelling and pronunciation – that is, how you say words out loud – are certainly inconsistent, and some words you simply have to learn by trial and error. ‘Rough’, for example, is pronounced ‘ruff’. But ‘through’ is pronounced ‘throo’, ‘though’ is pronounced ‘tho’ and ‘cough’ is pronounced ‘coff’! Yet, even given such inconsistencies, a good rule of thumb with words you’re not sure about is to try to spell them how you say them. Try to break the word down into individual syllables – that is, individual sounds – in your head and then try to build the word from there.

Diplodocus. That’s quite a long word, isn’t it? A long word for a long dinosaur. Can anyone tell me how many syllables ‘Diplodocus’ has?

That’s right, Harry: it has four. Dip - lo - do - cus. Now, watch as I write the four parts of the word on the board. You can see that they are spelt just as they are pronounced. That long word doesn’t seem so hard to spell now, does it?

Does someone want to come up to the board and try it with another word? A few hands up... how about... Andrea! That’s it, come to the front of the class, dear. Here’s a piece of chalk for you to use. Now, think carefully...

Butt - er - fly! Very good, Andrea! That word has three syllables, doesn’t it? And it is spelt just as it is pronounced. Good girl. You can take a gold star from my desk on the way back to your seat.

Use this technique whenever you are faced with an unfamiliar word and you won’t go too far wrong. And for those words that are spelt or pronounced inconsistently, you can make an attempt that is phonetically correct and then learn the specific spelling afterwards. The important thing is to build a spelling framework up in your head: you can fit exceptions (such as the silent ‘t’ in ‘beret’) into this framework as you come across them.

Now, I want to see how well you can all spell, so we are going to have a test. The papers are already on your desks. Julie! Rolling your eyes won’t get you out of doing the test, young lady, so we’ll have less of that. And I think the class has seen quite enough of your Diplodocus impression, thank you.

The test has ten questions. Each question consists of a sentence that has a word missing. The missing word is one of the answers: A, B, C. Pick the answer you think is correct. Write 1B, 2C, 3A and so on. Work quietly and carefully, and do not look up from your test paper. Anyone caught looking at another pupil’s paper will be in serious trouble. And do just try your best: no-one will be punished for getting questions wrong.

Is that all clear? Good. You may turn your papers over and begin.


Mary wasn’t sure ____ ice cream flavour to try.
A: wich        B: witch        C: which

I think my dog has ____.
A: fleas        B: flees        C: flease

The spanking Mary was given made her ____.
A: whale        B: wale        C: wail

It is always nice to ____ a gift from a friend.
A: recieve        B: receive        C: resieve

Walking through nettles with bare legs is not ____.
A: recommended    B: reccomended    C: reccommended

Sometimes it is ____ to administer a smacked bottom.
A: nessesary        B: neccesary        C: necessary

Janet would often burst into song ____.
A: spontaneusly    B: spontaneously    C: spontaniously

That little girl ____ needs a cuddle.
A: definitely        B: definately        C: defenitely

Stacy found shoe shops ____.
A: irresistable        B: irresistible        C: iresistible

Brad is a stickler for ____, so he always gives Emily the same number of swats to each cheek.
A: equillibrium    B: equalibrium    C: equilibrium

Friday, 6 July 2012

I, for one, welcome our new Penny overlords

My plan for world domination continues apace... my little blog is now listed on the erotic blog portal/review site Love Boudoir. I must admit that LB is new to me, but it is clearly a very useful resource: there are zillions of blogs listed there!

Thanks, LB! xx

And don’t worry: I will be a very kind and generous Queen of the Whole World when the time comes. And I’m sure you will all come to love Whip Wednesdays, Thrashing Thursdays and Spanking Saturdays eventually. Oh, and Fawning Fridays. Muwahaha.

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Space cadets and magic rain

We get a lot of rain in England. (June was, apparently, the wettest since records began: I can well believe it!) And so we English are experts on the many subtly variant types of wet stuff that fall from the sky.

Anyway. This is just my way of introducing a little real-life, non-kinky aside that I experienced today. I was out on lunchtime walkies with my doggie. It wasn’t raining, though the sky was filled with dark clouds, looking like they couldn’t wait to burst. There is a canal near my house, and Doggie and I often like to walk down it. It’s quite green and pastoral and pretty, and it’s a nice, relaxing place.

Even though the sky was dark and it felt as if rain was imminent, it hadn’t started by the time we reached the canal. Or, at least, I thought it hadn’t. So I was very surprised to see circles forming on the water, as if from raindrops. And that’s just what they were. Yet I couldn’t see, hear, or feel anything: this had to be the lightest, finest rain I had ever (not) seen. It was as if it wasn’t there at all. Doggie likes to take his time walking – he often stops and sniffs things at great length – and that suited me just fine at that moment, as I was genuinely struck by the peaceful, surreal beauty of the scene. I must have spent ten whole minutes, just gazing at the patterns on the water, as we inched our way along the path.

I’ve been a bit spaced out today as I didn’t sleep much last night (though to be fair I’m a bit of a space cadet at the best of times), so it was just so lovely, magical almost, to be in that quiet place and watch the circles silently form. It really put me in a tranquil state of mind, and I still feel that now.

It even cheered me up about Maria getting beaten at Wimbledon.

P.S. The photo at the top is of the sky above my house (plus some telephone cables), taken after we had got home. July! You’d never believe it. And you didn’t know I was an arty photographer, did you? (I’m not).

Update: Here’s a picture of the same bit of sky the next day. Note the excitingly different shade of grey cloud:

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Miss Hasler's English Class: 1

Good morning, children – my name is Miss Hasler and I am going to be your English teacher. Now, I don’t... STOP fiddling with your pigtails, you at the back! I’ll have no fiddling in my class! Now, I don’t expect everyone’s work to be perfect all of the time, but I do expect you all to try your best. I will always praise a pupil who makes a real effort.

And of course I also expect decorum at all times: schoolchildren should always be well-behaved and respectful. Any misbehaviour, from any pupil, will be punished. Look over at that corner next to the map on the wall, all of you. Do you see that hard wooden stool with the dunce’s cap on it? That’s where you will sit if you are naughty. And yes, you will have to wear that silly cap for the whole time you are in disgrace. Especially naughty behaviour will earn the pupil in question a spanked bottom – over my knee, in front of the entire class – prior to corner time. So if you don’t want to spend a lesson facing the wall with your little bottom red and sore (and I’m sure none of you do) you will make sure to behave yourselves.

Now. Pencils and jotters at the ready, and pay attention. You may of course copy down what I write on the board. Remember to raise your hand if you have a question. Sit up straight, Harry!

English is a rich, complex language with lots of rules and lots of tricky words, and it might sometimes seem daunting. But using it well isn’t really about knowing fancy words: it’s about expressing what you want to say clearly. A well-written piece – that is, an easily read one – is always much better than a muddled piece peppered with impressive-sounding words. So you should always aim, above all else, for clarity.

It is vital, then, to get the fundamentals right. You wouldn’t expect to win a chess tournament if you didn’t know how the ‘horsey piece’ moved, would you? So it is with English: make sure you understand the basics, and building from there becomes much easier.

Today we will look at four of the basic types of word in English: nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs. These types of word have different names because the words that belong to them have different functions. Let’s use something else to make the idea clearer. Let’s substitute animals for words. Birds, fish, mammals and reptiles are all types of animal that are different from each other, aren’t they? That’s why we call them by different names. It’s just the same with nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs (and all the other types of word).

So what are the functions of our word types?

Nouns are ‘naming’ words. That is, they include all the words we use as names for things and people. Examples of nouns are bicycle, mountain, chocolate and Elizabeth.

Verbs are ‘doing’ words. Cry, hop, write and spank are all verbs.

Adjectives are ‘describing’ words, like hot, fast, blue and proud.

Adverbs, as the name suggests, are a combination of adjective and verb. These words are used to provide extra detail about an action (a verb) by describing it (like an adjective). Smartly, happily, roughly and carelessly are all adverbs. Adverbs are always used in connection with verbs. That is, they need verbs in order to make sense. “Harry smiled happily” consists of noun-verb-adverb. If you take the verb away, and leave just the noun and the adverb, the sentence doesn’t make sense: “Harry happily.”

There are sub-types of each of these main types – just as there are sub-types of most other things, like cars or shoes or cakes – but we don’t need to worry about those today.

Let’s write an example sentence using words from each of our four types:

Elizabeth walked quickly as she was worried about the rain.

Now let’s identify the words that belong to each type:

Elizabeth (noun) walked (verb) quickly (adverb) as she was worried (adjective) about the rain (noun).

Just to reiterate the point that adverbs go with verbs, let’s take the verb out of our sentence and see if it still makes sense:

Elizabeth quickly as she was worried about the rain.

It doesn’t make sense, does it? No. You’re right to shake your heads. Julie, stop shaking that girl’s head for her.

Exercise 1
Think of five nouns, five verbs, five adjectives and five adverbs. Write them neatly in your jotter.

Exercise 2
Write a sentence with a noun and a verb in it. An example might be “The cat yawned.” Next, write one with a noun, a verb and an adjective. For example, “Jenny wore a blue dress.” Finally, try to write one with a noun, a verb, an adjective and an adverb. “The red car went by noisily.”

Write a little piece about anything you like. Try to use each of our word types (noun, verb, adjective, adverb) in your piece. They don’t all have to be in the same sentence. Be careful with your spelling – too many mistakes and you will have to see me for a personal lesson. Remember to hand your homework in to me for marking.