Monday, 6 May 2013


Hi everyone. Hugs to you all.

As some of you will know, the reason I have been away is because I suffered a miscarriage. I won’t write about it much here as this blog is a happy place, but believe me when I say that this has been the most difficult and heartbreaking experience of my life. My heart goes out to all those who have experienced such a thing themselves.

I want to thank all those who have sent me messages of sympathy, those who have given their time to talk with me and help me feel better, and those close friends who have been wonderful in their support. I am truly grateful and I love you.

Before trying to resume my usual type of writing I want to share a poem with you. I wrote it for my little Strawberry, and for myself, as part of the grieving process. I am still not really up to full strength emotionally so forgive me if I am quiet or don’t post very much for a while longer.

To my baby

Light inside me, life inside me
Forgive your mother
for not having the words

Know that I love you
Know that I cry
And would cry forevermore
if it meant I could hold you,

lift you to the sky;

Ward off terrors and
shield you with my love.

I feel you and always will:
Come be with me in my heart.

I love you and always will:
Be at peace, my beautiful one.


  1. Penelope,

    My love is with you. My wife had a miscarriage, it is a very emotional time.

    Big hug,

  2. I haven't been reading your blog for quite a while, and I'm just catching up. Penny, I'm SO VERY SORRY, and can't imagine what you're going thru.

    Please know you're a special person to many people, and how sorry we all are for your loss! :-(

    And as always, it is a beautiful, lovely poem. Cyber Hug!!

  3. Penelope welcome back sweetheart, all my hugs, kisses and sympathy darling. You were missed.

  4. Welcome back Penny, I'm sorry that such a good person like you had to go through that. Its good to have you back

  5. so sorry about your lose love from a new follower.

  6. I was so very, very sorry to read about this, Penny. As a frequent "lurker" here, I adore your blog and musings, and it breaks my heart to hear of such a tragic loss being felt by someone so wonderful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  7. Such a lovely poem. I'm so sorry it was inspired by such a terrible loss. Please know my heart goes out to you. Bless you.

  8. I'm so moved by your poem. My heart is heavy, but I'm thankful you were able to post this.

  9. Sorry to hear about that Penny, hope that with time everything will be OK again.

  10. So sorry to hear your sad news, my heart goes out to you.

  11. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Hugs to you and yours.

  12. Thinking of you, dear, on this day (although I'm now realizing it was much earlier in the UK). I miss you and hope that you are well. I hope we will get to hear from you when you are ready.

    And a blog doesn't have to be happy only. It's okay to be real.

  13. Well said above.
    I am sorry to hear about this; it has happened twice to my DB on the way to our three not so small ones now. The first she put down to a G and T from my dad ( she doesn't blame him) the other was a mystery; it's extremely normal on a farm a safety mechanism for the mother, for reasons beyond our understanding. I suggest having at bit of what you like, and put it all away especially anything related to these temporarily dashed hopes ( things). Take it steady. Keep your head down, happiness someone once said is realising that death disease and disaster are everyday things understanding that putting it all to the back of your mind; and think of positive, joyous and creative thoughts is the key to the essence of happyness. Sympathetic hugs and shoulder.
    Harry Bunter

  14. Beautiful poem Penelope. Looking forward to having you back.

  15. So sorry to hear Penny. Lovely're a fab writer. Best wishes for getting back to full strength and your enthusiastic, talented self...Strict Uncle

  16. The kindly sister knocked gently at the dark wooden door, listening she heard sniffles, she pushed the door to find sister Penelope sitting on her bed in a singlet and bloomers gazeing into a void. " Come Penelope, come now, we have found a cure for you, taking her by the hand, together they walked the halls to the scribes room,
    " everyone is at prayers," she said have a seat, take this pen," looking into Penelopes eyes she carefully took from her habit at slip of paper, " mother superior and farther have agreed you must write these words, we've been so worried you haven't eaten for days, no donuts or custard; I'll leave you to do it and I'm sure you will feel better in the fullness of time, handing Penny the paper, she said you will do it wont you dear? Penelope nodded.
    As quietly as she arrived the loving older sister retreated from the room leaving Penelope holding the quill and readying herself for her calling, all alone in the vast sea of empty desks. Looking at her task to copy, it read.
    I will not worry about things over which I have no control.The sun shone on her beautiful face and cast a shadow on the polished planks.
    On behalf of all your core fans, I hope your feeling better.
    Harry bunter

  17. Aw! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can't think of anything worse. I hope you feel better and stronger very soon.

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  21. Thanks, Timmy! I appreciate your protectiveness.

    And thank you, everyone, for your kind wishes.