Sunday, 2 March 2014

Spanked by a machine, or life imitating art

One of the stories in the outrageously popular Spank! 2 centres around something I have long been fascinated by (and had lots of delicious fantasies about): the spanking machine. Needless to say, the haughty and deserving female protagonist in my story finds herself strapped securely onto the machine and beaten mercilessly by it, her dignity stripped from her as completely as her skirt and panties are. It’s all very Kafkaesque, as she owns the company that manufactures the machine... I figured that would make for a fun reversal!

Happily for fans of such things, there seems to be no shortage of erotic artwork featuring spanking machines of all kinds:

Oh, the envy... I think the woman in the ultra-naughty Kami Tora pic wins the Luckiest Spankee prize (and is the one I would most ecstatically swap places with), but it’s really a case of win-win-win with all of them and with spanking machine art in general.

Given their popularity, it has always surprised me that spanking machines don’t seem to feature much in spanking fiction. I suppose a big reason is that the dynamic between a person and a machine is different to that between two (or more) people, and the lack of intimacy and human connection doesn’t lend itself to romance or emotional interplay. And perhaps what works well in picture form doesn’t always work so well in text. Which is a shame, as I think the cold, dispassionate nature of machines is fascinating when transplanted into a sexual and/or disciplinary context, and I would love to explore the area further. Maybe I will...

Anyway. To the ‘life imitating art’ part of this post! While I was writing my story I limited my research to drawings such as the ones above, and of course used my awesome imagination to envisage what a spanking machine might be like; how it would be built and operate. And I gave it what I thought an amusingly descriptive and corporate-sounding name: the Spank-o-Matic 8000. (Confession. I watch shopping channels on TV sometimes, just for fun. The ‘before and after’ bits are always so funny. “Tired of struggling with tangled-up hoses?” LOL).

Imagine my surprise, then, when I happened some time after finishing my story – during the course of an entirely innocent internet meander – upon the real thing! There really is a Spank-O-Matic, lookit!

“The Spank-O-Matic is an automated, powered spanking machine capable of delivering a very wide range of sensations,” says the blurb. (Now I’m picturing this thing on a shopping channel: that would be awesome!)

“So you say the Spank-O-Matic can OW! go from feather-soft to OOH! blisteringly severe, Brad?”

“That’s right, Lacey! It can give even the most troublesome brat just what she needs and more!” (big smile to camera as Lacey’s bottom is paddled relentlessly)

And this ain’t the only spanking machine on the market, neither. From what I can gather there are two principal manufacturers and models: the Spank-O-Matic’s rival is the Robospanker, from the good people at DD Machinery:

Definitely the sort of thing dreams are made of!

I have yet to try a spanking machine, but I have absolutely no doubt that they are great fun and I do someday hope to experience their thrillingly remorseless attentions. And, I have to say, I rather think that should I ever be fortunate enough to own one, I will leave the house a good deal less often. And invent many excuses for what I’m staying in to do. And not answer the phone while I’m doing it.

So, am I alone in my fascination? Do any of you get hot at the thought of being mounted on a bench and left to be spanked while your partner/disciplinarian pops out for a relaxing shopping trip? Do any of you own a spanking machine? Please comment if so! :D

In the meanwhile I’ll leave the last word to poor Ms Sheely from ‘A Day in Court’ (available from Amazon in the bargainly-priced Spank! 2: don’t delay, buy today!), extolling the virtues of the Spank-o-Matic 8000 as it toasts her naughty buns:

“The Spank-o-Matic can of course be used for-- ooh! d-disciplinary purposes, but our market research shows that eighty p-percent of owners purchase it for-- ow! recreation.”


  1. Oh, I've been waiting for this post for ever so long, Penny! Thanks. Yummy, yummy pictures, and even yummier prose!

    1. Thanks, Emily! You're so kind. Glad you enjoyed :)

  2. Fantastic post, Penny. I didn't know you were so enthusiastic about this subject. I think you're right -- my sense is that most people into spanking find the machine to be too impersonal. Not very romantic. I've never felt that way about it. "That's it, young lady, I've had quite enough of your attitude today." "No, please, not the spanking machine!" "Yes, the spanking machine." :) I also think about writing a story sometimes. XX

    1. Glad to know another fan :D

      And a story by you would be amazing. xx

  3. Great post, Penny and for generally lewd and naughty behaviiour, I hereby sentence you to 20 minutes on my olde English Sir Spanks-A-Lot machine. in a public place (extra fast, extra hard spaniing action ).I've already had orders from Miss Stern at the reform school and Warden Birch at the womens prison. as it's proved a big hit in dealing with female offenders.

    After the spanking you can spend 24 hours in the "Disciplined by Spanking" shift dress and sit on a hard wooden chair (cushion provided because I like you) while the other sentenced bad girls get spanked. Anybody here like to confess any crimes?..)

    As you can see, this is an area I'd enjoy writing about too!

    1. Mmm... thank you, Mr X - what a lovely punishment! Er, I mean horrid.

      Can we make it 48 hours? Plee-ease? :)

    2. Considering the severity of your case... ok, 72 hours it is..). Wonder id you'll reoffend?..)

    3. Some Pennys get all the luck :)

  4. Hello, I have been a fan of spanking machine for as long as I can remember. A story was in one of the first magazines I bought. There is a 3 machine.
    It appears to be made in Spain. A lot cheaper then the other 2, but I think it has some real weight limited. Not paddle of size, but I sure a wooden spoon would fit nice. There also used to be a page by a "lonely inventor". I have not seen it in a while. It had about 100 pictures. .

    I have though about making one use pulleys and boards. It would be a self spanker. You pull up the board and let it go and gravity would cause it to strike you bottom. There are spring hinges that could add to the force. Great post.

    1. Hi pieclown - thanks for the great comment! That cheaper machine looks like it could be fun... might have to investigate :)

      Your semi-manual spanking machine sounds like it would pack a sting, and there's something uniquely nice (i.e. kinksexually satisfying) about there being a degree of user input in the process. Self-spanking always feels extra naughty to me; a true guilty pleasure. xx

  5. I want one!

    Thank you, Penny!

    This started my day beautifully!
    Loved the pics, and heading online to do some shopping!

    1. So glad you enjoyed, Katherine :)

      I want one too... we're hopelessly naughty, aren't we?

  6. I have a spankomatic and it great funn. Let me know if you want to try it out online

  7. haha, love the read...! :)

    If I can add, the f-machine market has really developed lately. Prices gone down, quality up.

    I finally got excuse to get one. that didn't stop me from spending over 100 hours researching those bad boys.

    If it's ok to share, here's my research. could save some serious time to fellow pervs:


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  9. Penny, I think I saw a video where someone built their own spanking machine using a whip attached to an electric drill.