Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Over (to) the sports desk

Another kink-lite post (sorry!), on something that probably doesn’t get mentioned on spanking blogs all that often... American football!

So, er, why am I mentioning it? Because an email penpal has (amongst other, saucier things) extolled the virtues of the game at length to me and I thought I’d give it a try. (Watching, not playing!) Actually, that isn’t quite true: he has ordered me to watch. And of course, being a good little submissive penpal, I will! As luck would have it, Brit TV now shows it so I can have a gander without travelling halfway across the world. The season apparently starts tonight, with two teams whose names I forget playing each other.

But never mind them. The team that is going to win this year is my newly adopted one, the New England Patriots. Here’s their insignia:

That’s a hell of a quiff. Bit of an Elvis profile all round, actually. Maybe he was a fan.

My friend did explain the rules to me but I must confess I’ve forgotten pretty much all of it, so I will no doubt spend the duration of the Patriots’ first game wondering what is going on (and making up my own storyline in my head). It’s all about yards, or something. And I do know that football has cheerleaders, so I guess I can enjoy looking out for them if all else fails. (If I had been born in America, I so would have been a cheerleader...) American readers are of course welcome to enlighten me.

Returning to my favourite sport for a moment (but funnily enough staying in the US), I am very happy to report that the lovely Maria continues her march to the US Open title: she has just won a very close quarter-final against the very annoying Marion Bartoli. Ha! Take that, you unsporting cow. Next up is that chump Azarenka, who thinks she’s all that (but isn’t). Go Maria!

Here’s a photo from the match, or more exactly of Maria giving a very sexy and unamused look during a rain delay:

“Where’s that idiot Penny with my bottle of water? I’ll give the crowd something to watch when I get hold of her!”


  1. LD and I both love tennis, we had our first date on a tennis court. She was a champion in her college. We have both attended the US Open on many occasions. Jimmy Connors was our favorite player.

    Tonight, the American Football season starts with my favorite team, the NY Giants.


  2. That's so sweet! Thanks for the insight, and for the info: now I know two football teams! :D

    LD was a champion? Wow! I'm only good for watching (or being a ballgirl), so I have great admiration for those who are good at sports. I'm a bit of a tennis student, though, so I know Jimmy Connors (and McEnroe, and Borg, and Graf, and Navratilova, and Edberg, and Capriati...)

    I hope your team wins tonight. They should do, being giants and all.

  3. I do believe that the Rams are playing the Patriots. The Patriots will soundly thrash the Rams tonight because they are in general a highly superior team. I do owe the Rams some allegiance because they are from my hometown (they suck XD). The Patriots are sort of like the Yankees in America, you other love them or you hate them. Don't worry football still confuses me sometimes.
    I guess I could root for the patriots though because you are rooting for them

  4. American football:

    Guys huddle in the middle of a field.

    They start running around.

    Everybody stops while they figure out what to do next.

    Guys huddle on the field.

    They start running around.

    And repeat.

    *runs away from all diehard football fans

  5. they say basketball is a contact sport - football is a collision sport.

  6. Ooh! That sounds very rough and tumble, John. It might all be too much for my delicate sensibilities.

    See Ana, that's what I thought it involved too! Maybe there are hidden aspects to it that only boys can see.

    Thanks, Timmy! I have now looked on the Official Patriots Website(TM) that has a schedule of all their games. I also learned that all the teams have nicknames and cute little logos (the one that looks like an Angry Bird is particularly nifty) - this is a boy's game, correct?

  7. Now REAL football (aka "soccer")...that is a sport that has rules and meaning and artistry. I don't know those rules, either, but it is fun to watch.

  8. Uh-oh, now you've done it... men can be awfully touchy about their games ;)

    But football football is a good game, I agree. And I actually know the rules - BH spent a good part of the summer explaining them to me.

    I think one of the rules is that England can never win anything ever :D

  9. Sporting News has actually picked the San Francisco 49ers to win the Super Bowl (over the Houston Texans). Hopefully they're right 'cos the 'Niners are my team. I have some fondness for the Patriots because the quarterback is Tom Brady, who is a local boy (northern California).
    And yes, it is a boy's game...

  10. Thanks for the info, smuccatelli! I had to read your comment a couple of times to understand it, but I got there in the end.

    So the aim is to win the Super Bowl? That's something I've learned today :)

    Apologies, though, but the San Francisco 49ers can't win it - the Patriots are going to! With their star player, er... erm...


    scoring the winning goal. And then getting the girl, just like in the movies.

  11. Foot ball is a mens sport but the cheerleaders are the highlight for me. Look up the Dalas Cowboys chearleaders. WOOOOOOO they are nice to look at. :)

  12. Super Bowl is when people get together, make cute football-related snacks, ooh and ahh over the really clever television commercials, and chat with each other while the TV is on in another room.

    Or maybe that's just me...:P

  13. I'd like to have both those noisy young ladies over my knee. I'd give them something to yell about.

  14. oh yes! there are plenty of games you can play, like the spankee chooses a team (the Pats, in this case) and when they score, she gets the points - or their points so far - counted out with a paddle; if they're scored on, it's the strap. Or X swats every time the announcer uses a cliche phrase... which can always be combined with drinking, of course...

    or since women swoon over Tom Brady, maybe something keyed around him...

  15. p.s. the Pats really light their "tight ends." See if you can find out what one is in time for the Superbowl.

  16. I will suggest that a players outfit would be fun for you and or for another day, I think you'd make a pert cheerleader.don't forget to photo as proof.Harry

  17. Don't worry, I figured that :) although I have no idea what a tight end might be.

    Thanks for the spanking game suggestions! I shall have to mention them to BH. (Once he gets his head round the out-of-the-blue idea that I want to watch American football... that should be an interesting conversation).

    I don't have a cheerleader outfit at present, Harry: it's a serious gap in my wardrobe. But I will hopefully get one at some point. A photo I cannot promise, however.

    Please give Azarenka the spanking of her life, Aunty. Right before Maria gives her one on the court :)


    For viewing pleasure
    Looks like some are waiting to be spanked :)

  19. Unfortunately Penny, in the battle of the screamers Victoria won over Maria. When I mentioned spanking, darling I meant to spank both girls, not just Victoria.

  20. I know, Aunty. Stoopid Azarenka. Booo. I shouted at the TV and evryfin but it didn't help. :(

    And I know you meant both of them, Aunty, but I thought if you spanked Azarenka first Maria and I could sneak off...

  21. Ooo, another game, if you're a switch - we both had our favorite teams, mine usually won and hers was 50-50. If her team won, she was on top; if her team lost and mine won, I was on top (if we both lost we just drank, commiserated, etc.). If she won and I lost, then I was *really* in trouble.

    Maybe when Maria loses she should be serving Penny?