Monday 29 October 2012

Miss Hasler's English Class: Recess

All right, children, you can put your pencils down now. Play nicely: remember you are still in my classroom.

Is that a new doll, Julie? She’s very pretty. That’s it, you brush her hair, dear.

Harry! Chasing Andrea round her desk is not playing nicely!

Now, I know it’s raining and horrid outside so I have an activity some of you might enjoy: colouring-in pictures! There are several on my desk for you to choose from, and a big pot of felt tips. Take whichever picture you like best and see how nicely you can colour it in.

There’s a pretty little pony:


Tinkerbell:


Wonder Woman:



And a scary old haunted house, just in time for Halloween:


You can show me your drawings when they’re finished if you like. I might give a little prize for the best one.

Timmy! Don’t think I can’t see you poking Ana with that ruler! Keep it up and I’ll be colouring your bottom red, young man!

38 comments:

  1. Yay! I love recess. Thanks Miss Hassler. It sucks we can't go outside in the rain but I'm going to color a pretty scary haunted house.

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  2. Good boy. It is a scary-looking house, isn't it? I certainly wouldn't knock on the door if I was out trick or treating.

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  3. Do you want us to color the pictures?
    And I was just playing around with Ana you know. Why would I hit a girl with a ruler?

    Timmy

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  4. We'll have less of that snarky tone, thank you Timmy. And I can well imagine why you would hit a girl with a ruler.

    You can colour a picture if you want to, but you don't have to if you don't want to: it's just a nice indoor activity for recess because it's too wet to play outside.

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  5. It's never too wet. Just play in the mud silly.

    Timmy

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  6. You want to play in the mud? Then go and play in it!

    Miss Hasler marches down the classroom to Timmy's desk. She hoists the boy up by the arm and gives him a few smart smacks to the seat of his pants.

    Now go outside, naughty boy!

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  7. But I was just joking around with you, Poor Timmy says.

    Timmy

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  8. Just mind you watch that naughty tongue, young man, or you'll find yourself in detention.

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  9. Miss Hassler, I am done with my picture. Do you have more games? Or can I play with this deck of cards?

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  10. *Takes a picture of Tinkerbell to colour and looks for a green crayon. Sticks her tongue out at Harry for chasing her and making Miss Hasler shout.*

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  11. Well done, Billy. There are wordsearch sheets in the resource room: I will go and get some. You can play with your cards in the meantime if you like. No strip poker, though.

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  12. Now Andrea dear, don't tease Harry. There's a good girl.

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  13. Heeding his teachers words, Harry snatches the sheet with the ghoust house , and sits suddenly interested in paper work, however it seems much too child like, turning over,
    Licking his lips and twiddling his pencil, he recreates a drawing that he had seen from his older brother. Peeking carefully at teacher, a head, two arms out on hips, legs astride, a massive hairy pair of balls and a stiff "cock" triumphantly meet the face of a girl with pig tails with her mouth open and eyes with large eye lashes. God this is a laugh, Harry thought to himself, so relaxed, I had better be careful not to let Miss see; I think I better see what SHE is up too. Looking up he sees his fair teacher doing some marking, good he thought.
    Harry

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  14. Here we are, Billy - two nice little wordsearches for you to try. See if you can find all the words!

    Puzzle one
    Puzzle two

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  15. Miss Hasler takes her seat and looks out on the class of contented children. She smiles and picks up her copy of Teaching Weekly.

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  16. Thank-you Miss Hassler.

    Billy starts the word-searches but gets bored quickly. It feels too much like schoolwork so he gets his cards out and gathers some kids in the back of the room.

    "Miss Hassler said 'No strip poker' but said nothing about "candy poker". So get out your early Halloween candy."

    Billy starts to play and win and just hopes Miss Hassler keeps enjoying her magazine just in casse she frowns on gambling.

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  17. *Looks at what Harry is drawing and gasps*

    "Miss Hasler! Miss Hasler! Harry's doing a naughty drawing!"

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  18. Miss Hasler looked up from her magazine.

    Andrea? Harry is doing what?

    In an instant the teacher was on her feet, striding down the classroom towards Harry. She gasped in shock at reaching his desk and catching sight of his drawing. She snatched it up.

    And just what is this supposed to be, young man?

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  19. Flushing, Harry leaning forward lifting up his eyes sheepishly said "automatic drawing off the top of my head,Miss."

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  20. Question mark at the end as in:

    "automatic drawing,Miss?"

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  21. It's a disgusting, filthy drawing, that's what it is! And you are in a lot of trouble for drawing it!

    Miss Hasler took Harry by the ear and encouraged him to his feet. The blushing boy winced as he was led in the same painful manner to the front of the room.

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  22. Stand there. Don't you dare move a muscle.

    Miss Hasler unbuttoned Harry's shorts and pulled them down. His underpants followed a moment later. The silly schoolboy turned a deep shade of red as the girls in the class giggled at his freshly-exposed bare bottom.

    Now, everyone... this is what happens to naughty children who draw rude things in my class!

    The cross-looking teacher wrapped her left arm round Harry's chest to hold him in place and began spanking his twitching buttocks firmly with her right hand. The painful sound of smacks rang round the room, along with the plaintive yelps of the boy on the receiving end.

    BAD boy! You WILL NOT draw such things in my class!

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  23. Billy scurries back to his seat and focuses back on the wordsearch. He can't focus on puzzle two as Harry is making quite a commotion. Billy smirks at the naughty student's situation and vows to behave in order to avoid the same fate.

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  24. Applying a final brace of swats as a punctuation mark on her point, Miss Hasler released her hold on her wailing pupil and stood frowning down upon him, her hands frostily placed upon her hips.

    Now let that be a lesson to you, Harry Bunter! I don't want any more nonsense from you for the rest of the day, is that clear?

    At Harry's sad nod, Miss Hasler knelt down, pulled his underpants and shorts back up and fastened them, just as the boy's mother would have done that morning before school.

    Now go and sit back at your desk!

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  25. *Watches the spanking with a smile on her face* That'll teach Harry to draw naughty things and chase me around the room. Wish my aunty was here she would have spanked him good and proper.

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  26. Humiliated Geek wonders why little Andrea doesn't ever take matters into her own hands

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  27. *Timmy raises his hand*
    Miss Hasler will we ever go on a field trip?


    Timmy

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  28. *Raises her hand*

    "Ooohhh Miss! Aunty said we could tour her shop!"

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  29. Yes Andrea, that is quite right. We shall take a field trip to your Aunty's shop very soon!

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  30. Whats in your Aunts shop Andrea, Candy?

    Timmy says

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  31. Sometimes she has candy, Timmy. If we're good Miss Kimberley might make us some hot chocolate.

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  32. My mom was just saying that I needed a trip to your Aunty's shop. I've never been there. I hope it's cool and fun.

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  33. My mom told me that your Aunt spanks naughty children. Is that true Andrea?

    Would you let her spank you Miss Hasler?

    Timmy

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  34. My Aunty gives really good spankings, Timmy. I don't think she'd spank Miss Hasler, though.

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  35. I've never heard of a "really good spanking". All spankings stink.

    And I'm sorry Andrea but your aunty runs a shop with spankings? That's crazy. Who would pay for a spanking?

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  36. Will she give us all spankings when we get there Andrea? I hope not, I don' want to go now.

    Timmy

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  37. Now, Billy, we'll have less of that rudeness. What grown-ups spend their money on is none of your concern. And if you behave yourself on the field trip you won't have to worry about being spanked, will you?

    The same goes for you, Timmy.

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  38. Sorry Miss Hassler, I'll try to behave.

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