Friday, 25 January 2013

Fame, fortune and corner time

You know what it’s like. One star-studded book launch party after another; glitz and glamour and limousines and red carpet and cocktails and cute little snacks brought to you on silver platters. Photographs and interviews and TV appearances; meetings with reps from fashion houses angling for endorsements (“The ‘Penny’ line of pleated miniskirts, for the modern woman who never wanted to leave school”); tours of one’s humble abode for the press (the Hello! guy has awfully roving hands, be warned). And all the while looking radiant, carefree and flawless. (It’s a good thing I have a team to take care of that. Where would I be without my eyebrow technician?)

It’s almost enough to make a girl big-headed.

Lucky for me, then, that I have BH to keep me grounded. And spanked. And writing lines. Without him to yank me to one side and tell me I’ll be getting it good who knows what I would get up to... I’d likely be splashed across the papers after every party, pictured on the floor with my expensive dress hitched up, locked in a hair-pulling fight to the death with the bitchy critic who gave my book a thumbs down.

Still, he is a bit over-zealous sometimes. So I maybe had a few Martinis at the last bash and got a bit lively... so I maybe said I was going to give that snidey cow from Cosmo a slap... so I maybe sat on the floor in the middle of a toast and started singing ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’, merrily pulling a pair of invisible oars to and fro*...

...does that really warrant being spanked before bed and given ‘detention’ for a week?

*Pre-BH, I went out with a rugby player. He and I apparently did this for hours at a house party. I was too *cough* stoned to remember much about it.


  1. I think you're getting off quite lightly in the circumstances. If it had been me you would have had to have a second spanking at the end of the week so that your week's detention gave you something to think about and you would be fully sober when you got it.

  2. Wah! So mean! You can go off people, you know... ;P

    But don't worry, Sir - detention always includes a spanking.


  3. Hey! Now I come to think of it, it's your fault for planting thoughts of boating in my impressionable little head.


  4. My friend is a publicist for a large publishing house. Trust me, tours are not that glamorous.

    A fun night and a spanking. Lucky girl.


  5. Aw. Well, they're glamorous in my imagination at least! ;D

    And okay, so the 'mass adulation' part of my little tale might involve a touch of poetic licence :) but the 'detention and spanking for misbehaving' part is all too real. (Pout, frown).

  6. Trying to pass the blame to others is not a very clever idea is it?

  7. Um...

    Penny puts her finger to her chin and finks.

    ...Ana made me do it? :)

  8. Penelope, if you're writing lines, you're having time taken away from writing stories, and I think that's counter productive, what is needed here is more spankings.

  9. For girls who have gotten too full of themselves, a strong dose of humility is just what the doctor ordered. Well done, BH.

    Thanks, got your book, will start reading at the nearest opportunity. Yes, I'm Mr. Busy. So many important things to do. LOL.

    BTW, this blog post really made me laugh. :D


  10. I'm so happy for you, discipline Penny, just what's required. Here here well done BH. I sorry to be mean but pouting is code for; a few extra hard ones please!; (
    Lucky you.

  11. I was in total agreement with you right up to the part where you said more spankings were needed, Aunty. Whine, whimper!

    And I'm very happy I made you laugh, TFD (and dat you bought the spankin fiction buk du jour), but wah! Humility? I know what dat means... more spankin!

    And oh, thrice woe! Et tu, Harry? Is this a paddle wot I see before me? :(

  12. I'm sorry that I missed your book release! Congratulations! That is wonderful!

    In fact, to celebrate I think you should be given another spanking. Or three. Before lunch. And then another few to hold you over until your bedtime spanking. :)



    I just hope BH paddles you good and hard, dear. :)

  14. Whimper... what comes after thrice? :(

    Would you believe dat Joey made me say dat Ana made me do it? :)

  15. Thanks for the congrats btw! :D

  16. I don't believe it! the eyebrow tech, understood - but even the bitchiest critic giving your book the thumbs down? Unlikely in the extreme...

  17. Aw! That is such a nice thing to say, John. Thank you!