Oops, I spanked it again

So when, you might ask, is this ‘spanking fiction author’ going to get off her caboose and author something? It’s been ages since the wondrous Spank! sullied graced the world of literature, after all. Well! I reply. Finger your pearls in surprise and make room on your e-bookshelf cos here’s a sequel for the ages. Forget Wide Sargasso Sea, forget Scarlett, forget, even, Legally Blonde 2.

Ladies, gentlemen, children, household pets, I give you... (drum roll, please)...

Spank!...

...2!

Ooh!

It’s got spanking, it’s got dressing-up, it’s got more metaphors than a poetry festival (did I ever mention that my Dad was once a market trader? Getyer spankin’ stories, lovely fresh spankin’ stories): it’s got six short stories filled with playful naughtiness and good old-fashioned filth.

Fancy having your fancy tickled? Here’s a snippet from ‘The Maid’ (by me):

He spoke very sparingly, and when he did speak, there was a glass-like quality to his voice; a stern coolness that spoke of high breeding, authority, and power. Somehow it seemed that being called a wicked girl by such a figure stung far more than the cook’s coarse denouncements ever did. And the Earl’s refined demeanour did not mean that Mary’s bottom was spared its due. He slapped her trembling buttocks as forcefully and implacably as one of his servants might have beaten a rug.

Here’s one from ‘Costume Party Catfight’ (by Becky):

Alice planted a firm hand on the small of Dorothy’s back. The surge of satisfaction from exacting her revenge was overwhelming. At first, it took all of her concentration to hold Dorothy in place and deliver hard, heavy smacks to her squirming derriere, but Alice was a fast learner and was soon spanking her enemy with carefree aplomb.

And here’s one from ‘Sabine’ (me again):

Clearly still full of mischief, she made a dreadful spectacle of herself as the leather scorched her skin. But if she had thought that her performance might make me relent, she was mistaken: her desperate writhing and muffled screams only induced me to beat her harder. It was obvious that she badly needed to be taught a lesson, and the wretched little slut quite rightly felt the crop’s sting a countless number of times to her back, her bottom, her legs, and even between her legs.

Nastay! And written from experience.

So, yeah – Spank! 2: it’s basically like Spank! but with new stories in it. Buy it if you like, don’t if you don’t: the ickle fluffy bunny who edited it promises he won’t take it personally and cry and go off his lettuce. But then he might just be saying that.

Squeak, squeak, whimper.